Just as the vegan community had good press on the Today Show yesterday (see yesterday’s blog post Vegan Firefighters On Today), we had bad press on the Tonight Show last week.
Comedian Tom Papa did a standup routine on the show. Overall I found it rather humorous, but his wife should train him a bit better. If she really is vegetarian as he mentions, she should have him praising the diet in public.
Below follows a brief transcript of his routine. (I love the part about the billionaires.)
Here we are at the beginning of the next Great Depression. Wow, I’m looking forward to it . I’m so tired of all the old people, “we’re the greatest generation, we survived the great de na na.”
We can do it too, come on. How easy is it to be poor. It’s fun, you don’t have to get up early for work, you don’t have to get up ever. It’s awesome.
How about these billionaires. These billionaires are killing themselves. They’re losing their money and they’re killing themselves. How insulting is this? They’d rather die than live like us. “You want me to eat at Applebee’s – I don’t think so.”
I think it’s good for us. Simplify things. We’re gonna be fine. We’re America, we’ll be fine. It’ll be nice. Get joy out of the little things for a while.
Soup. I love soup. A nice chowder, a nice bisque. Get a big stale piece of bread. Gum it for weeks at a time.
I eat like that all the time. My wife’s a vegetarian.
We go to vegan restaurants. Ever try that, you ever go to a vegan restaurant? Yeah, that’s a bummer of a night. Talk about the Great Depression. You want to celebrate life you go to a steak house. People are filled with joy. Beer and wine, people slashing each other with knives. Blood dripping off your chin. Everybody’s laughing, pounding on the tables. Ha Ha Ha Ha.
You go to a vegan restaurant nobody’s laughing, they’re so weak they don’t even have the breath. Aaah. They can’t even lift the fake buffalo wing made of tofu and bark nuggets up to their mouths.
And there you have it, the stereotype of the weak, helpless vegan.
Anyway, if you’d like to check it out yourself, you can find the Tonight Show episode here. It’s chapter 5 if you don’t feel like watching the entire episode. It’s episode 3717 and aired Friday, February 21st.