Jane and I are struggling a bit. One of our kitties, our favorite, has terminal cancer. The vet has prescribed pain killers, along with some other fun things. And we've been instructed to pay careful attention to her level of comfort and when it appears she is suffering, we should euthanize her.
On a logical basis, I know this is the right thing to do. It is our responsibility to our pets to care for them as best we can. Personally, I would want someone to help me end it when the pain became unbearable. The only difference here is that I expect I would be able to communicate my desires when the time came. The thing that scares us both is that we won't really know when it is the "right time." So we are going to have to make the decision to kill a being. And realistically, it will likely be too early, or too late.
We got the pain killers today. We knew our kitty had been ailing. She has a mass growing on her face, and when she finished her first round of anti-biotics she started smelling really foul, as if she was rotting. (Which btw, is what the vet said is happening with her tumor.) Occasionally she would pass on her food and Jane would spend significant time coaxing her to eat. But our kitty still wanted to hang with us, and she would purr when we petted her. We had no idea she was in pain. After her first dose of pain killer, she was much more playful and her purring was louder. So is she stoned, or had she been suffering and we missed it all?
We love this cat. I mean, really love this cat. She is our child. Our other kitty is great, but he is a pet. This cat has a real personality. Neither of us is happy with the idea of putting her down. She's almost 16. She's had a better life than many people on this earth. But how do you actually make the decision to kill another being? Even if it is the compassionate thing to do?